The first step

     Take a paper and a pencil and make whenever possible the full list
All that touches, disturbs you in behaviour of your child.
     Even if together with you with a book someone else works, make this
The list (as well as all other in our job), individually. If two
Parents work over any concrete problem together, each of
The separate list should make them, and, most likely, it will appear that in these
Lists there will be at least some various points.
     The list becomes that basis on which your job will be under construction with
Book, and we hope to learn you to work with its each point.
     Undertaken list drawing up, you can switch on in it eight,
Ten and even there are more than points. Here a selection of the points listed in lists
Different parents.
     Late goes to bed.
     Lies, for example: says that goes to one place, and itself goes somewhere
Still; says that has made lessons, and itself has not made them; says that did not steal from
My purse.
     Spoils on kitchen.
     Hangs out wet towels on a bathroom.
     Leaves dirty ware in a drawing room.
     Does not feed the pets.
     Does not clean for the dog.
     Beret without demand my clothes.
     Puts on as the tramp.
     Abuses cosmetics.
     Gives my clothes (the hair dryer for hair, cosmetics) to the girlfriends.
     Disappears at night from the house through a window.
     Walks late or even all night long.
     Leaves the bicycle (the fads etc.) in the street without supervision.
     Leaves my tools to rust in the street or loses them.
     Hours borrows phone.
     Reserves, without having asked me, expensive long-distance conversations on
To phone.
     Does not wish to change clothes after school.
     Has bad habit to row.
     It is constantly gloomy and will close.
     Is found with undesirable friends.
     Has the friend (girl-friend) is much more senior it (it).
     Too much watches TV.
     Rolls for days on end, listening to stereorecords or looking through
Teleprograms.
     Does not do lessons.
     Does not go in school.
     Badly studies.
     Results friends home when I was not present.
     Allows the friends to steal from us.
     Does not wash.
     Does not do a housework.
     Goes into hysterics and threatens, when to it contradict.
     Does not clean in the room. Contains it in the disorder.
     Escapes from the house.
     Fights with brothers or sisters.
     Says that does not like me.
     Swears.
     Calls me.
     Wishes to do nothing together with a family.
     All the time one wishes to be.
     Demands money.
     Says to another that I am bad from it I address.
     Steals from me or other members of a family (money, ornaments, collections
Coins, spirits).
     Smokes.
     Drinks beer with friends.
     Smokes marihuana.
     Stores marihuana in the bedroom.
     It is active and  in sex.
     Threatens me or another with corporal mutilations.
     Has made the pregnant woman the girl-friend.
     Has made abortion, and now has again become pregnant.
     Beats off plaster from walls when is angry.
     Takes another’s car and goes to "pleasure walk".
     Makes the way in the house to neighbours and steals there things.
     Steals in shops.
     Threatens to kill itself.
     Goes in cars which are driven by irresponsible friends.
     Interferes with my private life.
     Is disturbing to read this list. If you have read it before have solved
To get children, that, probably, you should change the intention. That not
Less in its reading there is also a positive moment: it is rather probable that to you in
This list all problems concern not! We also think that each of
These problems it is possible to consider not only as an occasion to painful skirmish,
But also as favorable possibility for change of the life to the best.
Let’s start sort now list contents to bring in it
Some order.

The second step

     Now, when your list is ready, once again see it and choose for
The separate list all that has quite certain consequences for
Lives of the child, but does not influence in any way you. This list we will name
The list of events of a life of the child.
     З for this some time, thinking over each point of the list on
To measure of how move ahead. Probably, some points have the obvious
Consequences only for your child and, thus, concern the list
His life events; others are closely connected only with your own life
And, hence, the given list do not concern. But there are also such points,
Which to you should be broken into subparagraphs to define, what of them
Influences you and what – is not present.
     If you cannot solve in any way, whether the given point concerns the list
Events of a life of the child wonder, whether you have the real power
Over this situation or not. For example, if cosmetics which you borrow
The daughter, even more often does not come back to you, it is possible to stop to give it.
However if your daughter has a habit to smoke out of door does not exist
Such direct influence, which can be undertaken to change
Position. In the first case do you have the direct power over a situation,
Whereas in the second case of such power is not present. We have found out that points,
Which do not influence your life, is usually with what you can nothing
To do. We consider: would be bad tactics to insist on the there, where
It is useless, and consequently is offered: if can, place the given points in
The list of events of a life of the child. Keep the forces for those spheres, with
With which we will deal a little later and in which do you have
Some influence.
     Way with which help you will select points for the list
Events of a life of the child, depends, of course, on that situation, in which you
Be; only you can solve, concerns or not the given point to
To the list of the events which are not influencing your life. Nevertheless we can, using
Examples from our list to specify separate points, which, most likely,
Can be carried to the given list.
     Following points as a whole are better for switching on in the list of events of a life
The child, isolating thus only those their rather insignificant aspects, which
Influence you and, besides, are under your control.

• Late goes to bed.

     Parents test often concern about it, for to the child
Rest is necessary in time to rise in the morning and to be vigorous at school. Certainly,
If children late go to bed, next day at them sticking together and
The obscured eyes, slackness and drowsiness, but all is consequences for
Lives of your child, and it is absolutely clear that they do not influence your life.
     Placing this point in the list of events of a life of the child, consider, however,
Its following aspects which influence your life:
     Grumbling and irritable next day.
     Does not allow to me to be alone; deprives of me silence and rest in the evening and at night.
     Demands, that him or it have woken next morning.

• watches TV Too much.

     We can present those consequences for a life of your child, which,
Probably, disturb also you. The child, most likely, in vain wastes time; it
Spoils a bearing and eyes; hammers to itself in a head nonsense and banalities, instead of
That to learn to take pleasure in creativity. Anything from this not
Influences your life, therefore the given point it is necessary to carry, most likely, to
To the list of events of a life of the child, however again with some reservations:
     Prevents to look to me programs interesting me.
     Watches TV too long and switches on it so, aloud that noise
Bothers and disturbs me.

• does not wash.

     The horrific image pursues parents, whose child does not wish to wash:
In thirty years you go along the street with your child, you – tidy and
Elegant, and it or it – dirty and not combed adults pushing away
Kind. All acquaintances,  you together, think: "What awful parents, as
Only they have allowed to grow to such slovens ".
     However, if not to think of shame such, unwillingness of your child
To wash does not influence your life though it has certain consequences for
The child: opinion on him of friends, teachers, relatives etc.
Develops taking into account its neatness, and, it is rather probable that they and conduct
Itself in relation to it according to this opinion. Placing this point in
The list of events of a life of the child, it is necessary to consider those its aspects which can
To represent for you a separate problem:
     From it unpleasantly smells,  the sweater smells at everyone it
Movement.
     It spoils furniture when sits on it.
     When there comes its turn to prepare, he does not wash a hand, and it seems to me,
As food dirty.

• does not care of personal property.

     • Leaves the bicycle in the street where it can get under
Rain or where it can steal.
     Almost each adult, compelled to earn money to contain
Family, feels dickey, when sees the bad reference with
Expensive things; and when it also has paid these things own work, such
The discomfort can be rather sensitive. Seeing, as inconsiderately
Address with the things bought by you, you also can feel
The underestimated. At you uneasiness and embitternment in all can develop,
As to money. You have paid for something that has not been estimated, and can
To feel: you and further are obliged to pay for new and new things – and all
Your money will simply disappear, as water in a bowl plum disappears.
     Absolutely to change a situation and to return to itself the control over
Financial expenses, we advise to you to draw an accurate side between things
Your child and the things belonging to you. And after that everything that the child
Does with the things, with all definiteness to switch on in the list of events
Lives of the child. Absolutely clearly that loss of a bicycle at the child everyone
Sorts uniform damage, waste by the teenager of own money, more likely
Everything, will affect it, instead of on your life. At the same time follows
To remember those aspects of the given point which have consequences and for you.
     Waits that I will compensate the gone, spoilt or given things.

• Fights with brothers and (or) sisters.

     It is one of the most widespread and obvious occasions for
Troubles of the parents having of several children. The trouble accepts it
So various forms so much degrees of expressiveness that we also have to
This time we meet in the practice its new versions. Everyone
Time, facing a new case such, we usually thought: "This
Situation – the absolute exception "- also started to work from it any
In a special way. However again came to that vision of similar situations,
Which it is described in this book.
     When children fight, your main care, probably, consists in, that
To provide their safety: you are afraid that one of them will seriously wound
Another. Obviously, it can have the extremely unpleasant consequences as for
That, and for another. But even if the result is not so awful, you all
The prospect of occurrence at children of installations can equally frighten to solve all
Vital problems by means of violence; and one child is accustomed to be
The hooligan and the tease, and another – a helpless victim. All is serious
Consequences, but first of all they influence a life of children. We advise to you
To place this point in the list of events of a life of the child (if all participants
Skirmishes adult enough also are able to run and speak already), considering thus
Those its aspects which make on your direct impact.
     I am am frightened by possibility of the present mutilation.
     They so strongly potter, when fight that I hear squeal and noise from them
Fuss and a furniture roar.
     They so rustle that the house owner already threatened with eviction.

• Shouts, goes into hysterics when to it or it contradict.

     You would not like, that the child was dissatisfied with you or annoys on you, and
Neighbours or someone else also knew about this sort of abnormal behaviour
Your child. Nevertheless tantrums, most likely, have no
Any real consequences for your life. As to the child,
That, as far as we know, results of hysterical flashes happen an inflammation
Throats, voice loss, feeling of feebleness of that in any way is impossible
To receive wished in that way to which would like; and sometimes feeling of the pleasant
The excitation, coming after a full discharge. Thus, it, more likely
Everything, point from the list of events of a life of the child.
     Some children throw things when are angered; whether there will be similar cases
Are carried to the list of events of a life of the child or to the list of events of your life,
Depends, from our point of view, on what things have been thrown or
Are hurt. If it is your things happened definitely influences yours
Life; if it were things of the child, their breakage – loss for it, instead of
For you. That is why the given point should be carried to the list of events of a life
The child.
     Tantrums not so are simple. Usually they arise in reply to
Something that you have made and that can mention how are you doing the child ("Is not present, you not
You will go to Dzhen, yet you will not make a homework "), and your own
Life ("Is not present, I am not gathered to borrow to you I wash the car on the today’s
Evening "). Tantrums arise also, if before you repeatedly
Did concessions to the child. As a result you can train as though
Irritability of the child, from time to time supporting it. Now
It is necessary to retrain the son or the daughter. And as it to make, we will show in the following
Heads.
     Something concerning tantrums of the child, should be carried
To the list of events of your life. It is noise. One of mothers, with which to us
It was necessary to work, longed for this reason even hearing frustration. Such
In the image, concerning tantrums of the child you, probably, want
To note for itself the following:
     Noise irritates and torments me.

• does not clean in the room.

     The similar can deliver to parents, and especially mothers, almost
Intolerable tortures. And nevertheless in most cases such habit
Influences mainly a life of the child; after all your son or your daughter
Should live as in a pigsty, to be ashamed, when it is necessary to accept at
Itself friends, and difficulty when it is necessary to search for the things in it
The disorder and to carry , crushed clothes.
     Parents sometimes believe that one of their duties to learn children
To be tidy; and the important element of such training the constant requirement
To support cleanliness and an order in a bedroom. We very much would like to convince you,
What is it is better to carry to the list of events of a life of the child.
     If you handed over one of the rooms to somebody for a payment,
You that he or she supported in her an order would insist? We think,
That, most likely, is not present: if the person pays for a room it is it
Territory. Certainly, the child does not pay for the room, however to all of us
It is represented reasonable that some part of the house would be allocated to it as
Its territory. So leave, if can, cleanliness and an order in
To room of the child in the list of events of his life.
     The untidy room, apparently, will annoy you only in those
Cases, when:
     Its door appears slightly opened so it is necessary to see the disorder and
Dirt.
     In it the ware which is left there by the child accumulates.
     The scraps left in it involve in the house of ants and mice.
     You wish to sell the house, and you should show all its rooms
To potential buyers.

• does not wish anything to do together with a family.

• All the time wishes to be alone.

     Parents usually feel offended, unnecessary, rejected,
When children avoid to go somewhere together with them, obviously preferring
The company of friends or the stereoequipment. Further we will describe that follows
To do, that it wanted to child to happen everywhere to you; and here it is simple
Let’s advise to switch on these points if you, of course, can, in the list
Events. the child. Try to think of it from such point of view: you
After all the interesting, careful and cheerful person; and if the child does not wish to be
With you it is loss, more likely, for it, than for you. And here that you
Can consider:
     Refusing to accompany me, the child deprives of me possibility to leave
From the house because I know: it, remaining one, can spoil something,
To let in another’s people the house etc.
     • Is found with "undesirable" friends. This category of friends
Those which values obviously differ from yours, who can get, for example,
Is much more senior your child who already dealt with police, who
Has sex, is on drugs, sponges etc.
     "Possibility most to choose to itself friends" is, apparently, the second
From the most widespread and pressing needs of teenagers. "It is more
Freedom "- their first requirement; but even it frequently gets
Value "freedom to be with friends whom I have chosen". At the same time we
We know: careful parents test often a sense of responsibility for that, with
What people communicates and their child, and teachers and administration of school is on friendly terms,
And also any advisers sometimes strengthen at them this feeling
Responsibility. We heard once as the police officer has told to parents:
"You are responsible for with what people your child" loafs. However it
Also such point over which you have no direct and direct
The control and which directly does not influence your life.
     In our opinion, this point gives especially good possibility
That, having worked with it, to receive the big freedom for itself and in that
Time to find points of mutual understanding with the son or the daughter. We think that
The given point absolutely definitely concerns the list of events of a life
The child. We will postpone for the subsequent discussion its such aspects, which
Can influence you:
     The child results these "undesirable" friends home against mine
Desires.
     Allows these friends to steal from me.
     Results these friends when I was not present the house.
     Demands, that I served these friends (carried them on any
Entertainments etc.).

• from the house.

     When the child escapes for the first time from the house, parents can test
The present tortures. Probably, you will feel original mental anguish and internal
Pressure – a pain which any time will not allow to think of what the friend, and
Internal pressure of constant concern, insult and shame. Until then
While the son or the daughter have not come back, you will see them in each passer
The child who though something reminds yours, and each time thus you
Will feel a painful pain. Nevertheless we cannot tell that
All these painful experiences are caused to you by the child. Most likely, them
The reason in parents. Partly it consists that all of us
Are convinced of necessity to supervise any acts of the child; and this it
Runaway which we could not expect and check, undermines the given
The belief and by that injures us.
     In the situation of runaway from the house and the child, and the parent see, how
Rule, a certain influence of the child on the parent (or parents) on purpose
To receive from it something (at least, attention). Dramatizing the given
Event and justifying this  in the basis an act, children more often
Describe the parents as present monsters with five horns and
Webby paws. And parents, most likely, should listen about
To themselves something similar while their children will not be found. All it can prevent
To that the given point will get to the list of events of a life of the child. That not
We are less convinced: from the educational point of view such decision is
The most correct and the most effective.
     If we look at the child as on the person responsible for
Life we will see in its runaway from the house an act which sense consists in
Influence not on parents, and on itself. The child worries at
It all dangers connected with runaway and pleasures, sensation of freedom and
Comprehension of the injustice supposed by it in relation to parents, everyone
Complication sorts in connection with school, difficulties by search of friends, which
Would shelter it, and also all inconveniences because of necessity to spend night in
Church parks, gardens, on roofs of department stores etc. In a number of states of the USA
Runaways of children from the house are regarded as law infringement – - and it also
Care of the child. If you observe parental duties (and we
Are assured, what is it so, differently you would not read this book), you not
Break the law.
     So, we advise to you to place given, point in the list of events of a life
The child. Consider thus those  runaway which can directly
To affect your life.
     That subjects me to judicial and financial responsibility for all
Damage which it or it can bring. (This responsibility remains,
However, and when your child is not is in hiding.)
     Leaves me in ignorance and uncertainty, whether it is necessary to continue
To give it or it a room, whether to do for it or it any
Purchases etc.

• Goes in cars or by motorcycles with irresponsible friends.

     Here your main care is safety of the child. You it is easy
Can imagine that it or it are hard mutilated or that because of them
Someone has strongly suffered another. And it is valid, this point can have
Very serious consequences for the future child, and at the same time you
Practically can change nothing. If to impose a ban on such
Trips the child will participate in them without your permission, and you lose
Even that small particle of the control that was at you earlier.
     Therefore we think that this point concerns the list of events of a life
The child. One of aspects of this problem which also can disturb you
And directly to influence your life, it is that:
     Expenses for treatment and the maintenance mutilated be required and
The invalid child which to me should be paid.

• Drinks, smokes, uses marihuana or other drugs.

     All these actions can harm health, and some of them
Are forbidden by the law so they definitely have consequences for a life
Your child. The separate aspects of these actions influencing your life,
Can consist that the teenager:
     Comes home drunk or deranged.
     Stores houses drugs or alcohol stocks (and it can draw upon you
Law liability of infringement).
     It appears involved in the police investigation demanding an appearance
Parents in court.

• it is sexually active.

     Until then while sexual activity of the son or the daughter is carried out
Somewhere outside of your attention and your awareness, it, more likely
Everything, rather slightly influences your life, whereas for it or for
It this activity has weight of possible consequences. To the given sphere
All questions connected with perception by the child concern,
Mutual relations with other people, morals and morals, love,
Possible pregnancy and venereal diseases. It assumes all
Acceptance by the child really important and critical decisions. If
There comes pregnancy the decision on, whether to bring up the child, whether to throw
It or to make abortion, belongs according to the law accepted in

The majority of states, young mother. According to the law you do not bear
Responsibility for care of the baby and at all be not responsible for care of yours
The daughter if it has a child. When it occurs, it becomes
Adult and, hence, responsible for itself and the child.
     You are influenced by only following aspects of sexual activity
The teenager:
     Has sex in your house.
     Thinks that I will raise (its) its child.

• Late comes back home.

• At night leaves the house through a window.

     And again your main care here – safety of the child. You
Imagine all those dangers which can trap him late
In the evening and at night: attacks, rapes, etc., and you would like, that yours
The child was at home, in safety. Safety of the son or the daughter it is valid
Is its important factor or her lives, influencing your life –
As you feel trouble in the given occasion. Place, if
Can, this point in the list of events of a life of the child, having noted for itself those
Its aspects which influence your life:
     Rustles, when late comes back home, and intrudes upon my leisure or awakes
Me among night.
     Breaks glasses in windows and breaks door-locks, spoils walls and
The furniture when it is chosen from the house or makes the way home.
     Leaves the house not locked then free to come back in
It.

• Carries calling bras.

• wears the clothes looking very carelessly.

• Abuses cosmetics.

     The manner of the child to put on influences his life on many channels: it
Testifies to what sees the child whom he wants that it
Saw others and by that as though warns associates that they can
To expect from it. All it does not influence your life: it is influenced by your manner
To put on. Further, the real control how the child puts on, extremely
It is insignificant – unless it or it is in
Complete dependence from you. We advise to you to switch on this point in the list
Events of a life of the child, having noticed for itself only that directly influences you:
     Wishes to appear in public together with me while itself looks
As present the tramp (it is similar to the prostitute), etc.
     • drives the car of the friend, without having a driving licence (or steals
Another’s car also goes on "pleasure walk").

• Gets into houses of neighbours and steals there things.

• Studies in larceny in local department store.

     Certainly, all these illegal actions anyhow will make the impact
On a life of your child. Making similar offences, it or it breaks
And at worst something can make the rights of other people that will put to them
Direct damage. Thus the teenager receives also some representations about
The law which, probably, at first are reduced to that it is easy to them to neglect,
And then (if to it it will have the luck also will not have time to become inveterate
The offender) already starts to understand what to bypass laws not too easily
And their infringements can have rather unpleasant consequences. You cannot
Directly to affect the child so that it has ceased to study
This sort of things; therefore it is necessary to hope only that police
Will interfere before business will go too far. In this case your child
Can quickly mature, if, of course, you allow happened to remain
Its or its own problem.
     Sometimes parents aspire to make so that to avoid punishments of children
The authorities for infringement of laws, believing that arrest is limiting, too
The strong measure, and "drive" can hurt to the person further. Even if
Business has come in so away, we advise to switch on this point in the list of events of a life
The child. Perhaps, you will be calmed by that circumstance that collision with
The law usually is not neither full breakdown, nor too strong
Means; the majority of representatives of the power studying
Minor offenders, struggle for children, instead of against them and
Use the best efforts to return them to a normal life without any
Traumas. In some states any drive for it is judicial punishable offences,
Supposed by minors, it is liquidated on reaching them
Eighteen-year age. If your child experiments with
Illegal actions, collision with the law without your intervention and
Guarantees it can appear for it a unique wonder-working remedy.
And apparently, it is much better, if it occurs now, than after that,
As to the child it will be executed eighteen years. Prison for adults less
, is less useful and is more serious on the consequences, than
The receiver for minors.
     To put it briefly, we suggest you to switch on these points in the list of events
Lives of the child. And aspects of such behaviour which you should exclude
From this list because they influence you, can be the following:
     Holds stolen in my house.
     Reception of calls from police.
     Necessity to go to court with the child.
     Necessity to pay the maintenance of the child in the receiver for
Minors.
     Necessity to pay penalties for a damage put by the child.

• does not wish to do homeworks,

• does not wish to go in school.

• Badly studies.

     That your child at school and in connection with school does, influences before
In total on it or her life – that it or it can choose
Subsequently: a kind of activity in which they will study, people, with
With which they will communicate, and also on its or its representations about themselves. But
All it does not influence your life; you, possibly, have already passed through all those
Classes of school which wished to end, and hardly do you have desire
To repeat all this way with your child. Probably, you cannot also
To force the child to go in school or it is good to study. To us never
It was possible to see, that from parents it was possible to someone to force children
To learn lessons. Thus, these "school" points follows dared to carry to
To the list of that should worry your child. Those their aspects, which
It is necessary to exclude from this list if, of course, they disturb you,
Are that:
     Compels me to listen to phone calls from school and charge in
The volume that mine the child behaves there not how follows.
     Loafs round the house during school employment.
     Lives in the house as the dependent, has no duties. (We want
To tell that your basic duty in relation to the child consists,
Possibly, in giving it all necessary for the normal
Lives whereas duty of the child – to learn and be going to become adults.
If it or it stop training, but still continue to wait
Supports of parents, compensating nothing their help it also is
Dependence.)
     • Rolls for days on end, only and knows that eats and looks
The TV.
     It would seem, the given point not so and is significant, however it can be
To constants  for parents. All is the adult worries sometimes
Especially painfully, because he cannot think up a little
The comprehensible justification for the intolerant relation to idleness of the child and
Therefore it is compelled to have feeling of uncertainty and fault along with
Experiences of extreme irritation.
     Our experience testifies: it is a secondary problem. Usually the parent
Feels annoyed and helpless because of any other offences
The child and consequently seldom tests positive experiences under the relation to
To all volume that that does. If you feel that someone deceives you,
Maintains, rejects, unfairly addresses with you, most likely,
Your reaction to all in this person will be negative. As soon as you
Are released from these more vital issues, it becomes much easier
To be indulgent and kind to this person. Therefore we advise to study
Things more significant, and the given offence without hesitation to enter in the list
Events of a life of the child, having isolated those its aspects which actually influence
On your life:
     Eats houses all food.
     Reserves the used ware and stubs.
     Does not allow to me to stay alone with itself.
     We hope that the resulted list is sufficient to give to you
Representation about what sort points correspond to the list of events of a life
The child.
     There is also a special group of problems, which at first sight
Concern the list of events of a life of the child, but nevertheless are not isolated as
That of the initial list of problems. These are the points grouped around
That speaks or what sort installation is expressed by your child. We have in
To kind the following: when the child tells a lie, calls you or when it
It is gloomy, gloomy or will close – all it not necessarily influences your life;
Influence begins when you start to perceive similar behaviour
Seriously. However the given points not so easily give in to that approach, which
We recommend  to all other events of a life of the child, and
Therefore we will not switch on them in the given list, and we will study in them separately
(And a little later).
     Those offences of the child, which remained in our initial list (see
28 – 30), it is necessary to consider p. as directly influencing on you, .
. As points of the list of events of a life of the parent with which we will work
In the second part of a book.

The third step

     Now do you have the separate list of those acts of the child, which not
Influence your life. We would like, that you have worked with these points
In the special way which we concretise for you in the subsequent paragraphs.
However do not start to carry out at once, please, all our instructions.
While we recommend to make the following:
     Read all instructions containing in the rest of this chapter.
     Then read chapters 3 and 4. They will help you to develop the reasonable
Explanation to that way which you will co-operate with the child, and
Will give you a stock of confidence necessary for these interactions.
     Again read the instructions finishing this chapter, and only after that
Start them to carry out.
     In essence we would like, that you have undertaken concerning points
The list of events of a life of the child the following. First, refuse from
Responsibility for these points. Secondly, develop at itself trust to that,
That your child can make itself correct decisions in all these cases,
Also let to the child know and feel this your trust.
     You can find out what to carry out the given instructions easily enough, and
If actually and will be, one it can already lead to the appreciable
To changes in your relations with the son or the daughter. However many parents
Find this step extremely difficult, and you can appear one of them.
Then do recommended by us slowly, in the rate. To us not
It would be desirable, that you too intensively, too diligently and methodically
Studied all points of the list as, excessively forcing itself to the such
Sorts to job, you hardly can be released from connected with offences
The child of troubles, insults and irritations; and it means that you cannot
Really and completely to be released from problems. On the other hand,
It is useful itself a little and to push; than more likely you will pass the child one
Or two points from this list, more likely you will feel as that simplification and
Advantages of such position.
     Here is how you should operate to be released from these points and
To learn to trust your child:
     AT FIRST: choose from the list the most considerable point, responsibility
For which you can pass without special work to the child.
     THEN: originally imagination practise some minutes in
To such program of responsibility. Relax in that way, which
Helps you feel with the world with surrounding, and then some times
Do in imagination following actions:
     Present that you see, how your child makes
Act. As soon as you will make it, you will feel that former, familiar
To you an emotional push – a mix of trouble, anger and feebleness,
Meaning about the following: "I should make something; but from this that I
I can undertake, there is nothing that would be effective ".
     Then present that you remember: are responsible for this behaviour
Now not you, and your child, and you should not test this more
Unpleasant emotional push.
     Sensation of simplification and freedom – as from the cargo dumped from a back –
Will start to spread on all your body.
     In this condition of simplification and freedom if it  to you, allow
To itself to show interest new to you to how the child should behave
Now, already without your sensation of responsibility for it. Let it will be
As if you read a book which very much is pleasant to you and, as you
Know, well comes to an end, but thus have no representation about
The maintenance of the next chapter. In a word, you can expect with pleasure
Any unexpectedness, knowing at the same time that heroes of a book in
Safety and them is waited by the safe permission of a collision. When you can
To feel similar friendly interest, imagine that you
Turn to the child and see that it just does that concerns
To the list of events of his life. You notice it with interest and initial
Feeling of trust to that the teenager can successfully resolve the arisen
Problem.
     NOW: rehearse the reference to the son or the daughter, in which you as though
Pass it or it responsibility for the given point of the list. This reference
Can sound approximately so:
     "Met, I worried and became angry that last time you not
Has gone to school, and tried to force to go you there.
     I long thought of it and now I understand that arrived silly. I cannot
To force you to do something, and, except that, yours all it really
Business as influences first of all your life.
     I have understood that you can quite make itself correct decisions
Concerning employment at school.
     From now on I am not gathered to interfere with these decisions and I trust
To you: what you have solved, will be for you correct.
     I will be interested still in your affairs and in every possible way to help
To you if, of course, you about it ask, but as a whole yours all it now
Business ".
     You, probably, have noticed: in this reference only six offers, in
Each of them a subject is the pronoun "I", in circulation is not present
Questions. We name offers such
JA-statements. In this book we still will talk about the effective speech
Designs, and now only we will ask you as it is possible to adhere more precisely
The following: to state only that you feel or are gathered to do,
And not to say to the son  the daughter that it or it can or should (should)
To do. Formulate that you should tell in the form of JA-statements,
Say it whenever possible short and do not set questions (such, as
"Why you do not wish to go in school?","you want, I will talk instead of you with
Your teacher? "," you went today in school? "Etc.).
     THEN: rehearse the short statement concerning those aspects
The given point which continue you to disturb. For example:
     "I am not gathered to interfere with your school affairs; at the same time is
Something that I want.
     I want, that during school employment here there were no your friends.
     I want, that each of us carried out the duties. I do not want
To contain the dependent ".
     Pay attention to that, as this reference is very laconic
And entirely consists of JA-statements. In him it is said that you
Feel that you want that you are gathered to do. Be clear and
Laconic in the statements.
     Practise this reference until will feel that
It any more does not constrain you.
     NOW: go to your son or your daughter, directly and openly
Declare to it or it that you have come to the certain decision in the relation
Concrete problem, also formulate this decision.
     THEN: throughout next several days or weeks the similar
In the way pass it or it responsibility for other points from the list
Events of a life of the child.
     Reaction of your son or your daughter to all it can appear for you
The unexpected suffices. We had to see children reacting very
Differently: for pleasure before tantrums, from charges ("You not
You care of me! ") and requests to relieve them of responsibility to the obvious
Apathy, indifference and absence of any appreciable reaction. We advise
To you easy to listen to the child (what he neither spoke and nor did in reply to
Your reference) and softly to repeat, what is it that you wish to make.
Thus concentrate attention not so much on reaction of the child, how many on
Your own intention to adhere JA-vyskazyva-ny not to set
Questions and to express shortly.
     It is necessary to tell, and parents find out the whole spectrum of reactions in reply to
The idea offered in this chapter. Some of them test
Immediate simplification. Many sceptically mind: "you that, consider,
What it is necessary to cease to look after children – and only? "," Simply to leave
The child on a destiny arbitrariness? "Some express concern in connection with that,
That lose responsibility for behaviour of the child: "Same means that I
Should refuse to be from the duty the tutor! ". Or:" I answer
For the child! "Sometimes parents speak about the following:" If I
I will make all it the child takes over me top ". All these reactions
Are natural and clear; they follow from frank aspiration of parents
To do a maximum of possible education in business. In the following chapter we will talk
About why you so, instead of differently react on offered by us.
While only we will tell: if you make that here is recommended, the main step
On a way to the decision of your problem it will be made. We confirm it
Regardless to that, will how much joyfully, angrily or gloomy react
The child on your statement and how much hard or, on the contrary, it is easy you
Will take this step. The first step to the permission of your problem is made. Now
Business behind going further with a support on this undertaking.
     In the fourth chapter we will consider the problem on, how usually
The initial situation and what ways of regulation of this development develops.
     While in your initial list of problems there are more many points,
Concerning the acts of the child directly influencing our life. All
They are very important, and we will study in them (the same as also significant for you
Aspects of points from the list of events of a life of the child) in second half
Books.

The first exercise

     Sitting in an armchair, try to weaken all muscles (except for those,
Which are necessary for preservation of your pose and book keeping).
     One of the strange habits developing at the majority of adults, when
They appear in unpleasant or stressful situations, consists in pressure
Muscles. Intense muscles do not promote an exit from a negative situation,
On the contrary, they as though close us in it even more strongly. That is why follows
To acquire opposite reaction: to weaken muscles in all those
Cases when there is a discomfort or stress. Doing it, we will appear in
Much more the best position to resolve or change the appeared
Problem.
     Practising this reaction, you can relax completely almost for
One-two seconds. However if you consider all it only as waste of time,
We almost guarantee that, as further you will consider this skill
The insignificant. Most likely, having tried to relax one or two times, you
Then absolutely will cease to do it. Therefore we ask you to do
Now exercise on more regular relaxation and to repeat it
Again and again the next days and weeks – until it does not become
As though your second nature. And each time as soon as before you will be
To arise any problem, you will release all muscles from
Excessive pressure. The relaxation of muscles will make almost impossible
Usual course of a stressful situation as you cannot react in any more
This situation how you did it earlier. Probably, if you completely
Will relax, you will not manage even to become angry or feel
Trouble. The relaxation of muscles can appear also useful for
Preservations of your somatic health.
     Right now, sitting in an armchair, at first  simultaneously all muscles,
How much can, and try to keep this pressure of seconds ten.
Sit all this time so tensely and , how much can.
Then allow pressure to leave gradually – let your body will inertly become soft
In an armchair. Notice thus, all it is accompanied by what sensations,
The breath is slowed how much down and deep after you have started to be released from
Pressure and as then you feel pressure leaving.
     Now, continuing to sit easy in an armchair, spend at least
Ten minutes, deepening a relaxation condition, mentally observing of everyone
Part of the body and allowing it to relax even more. As
You allow each part of your body to relax even more, give
Possibility to feeling of internal tranquility to spread on all body.
     "Toes now relax (as you allow them still
More to become soft). The arches of feet Now relax. Now – heels. Now
Ankles relax. Now muscles of calves even more relax and
Shins ".
     Continuing thus – slowly and softly – mentally to move ahead on
To all parts of a body, if necessary come back to some of them to those
Time while you will not feel that have reached level satisfying you
Relaxations in all body.
     Now, keeping sensation of a relaxation which you have reached in a course
Exercises, and using only those muscles, which are necessary to keep
Book and to read, pass to following exercise.

The second exercise

     Sitting easy in an armchair, present that in the centre of yours of a being
There is a small particle which very much, is very quiet and happy. Not
Mentioned by all fears and cares of the future, it stays there in
The uttermost world, in force and happiness. It is impossible to reach it, to it it is impossible
To touch. If you wish, it is possible to present it in the form of a certain image
– Uvula of a flame, jewel or undercover lake, quiet, with
Smooth, without the slightest ripple a surface. Full of the deep
Tranquility and pleasure, calmness and force, it is in the full
Safety. It there – it is deep in you. Present now, what is it a flame,
This jewel or this lake which is deeply, in the centre,
In the kernel you, – you.
     Present that this undercover centre always stays in you, remaining
Same quiet and silent, through what difficulties, problems and
Troubles to you should be passed. And you, if want, can learn in
Any moment to remember that this particle – there. And many times for a day you
Can recollect this small kernel of internal tranquility,
Mentally to join it. Knowing that it here, absolutely nearby, you will be
To feel it is more than calmness and slackness and simultaneously more
Confidence and force.

The third exercise

     Keeping sensation of a relaxation and internal tranquility, begin
Gradually to expand this condition on surrounding – so that your problem
With the child has got the foreseeable sizes, began to look quite solved.
If you felt trouble, indignation, insult or other painful
Emotions when reflected on the problem, apparently, you perceived
It in too narrow frameworks which simultaneously limited yours
Possibilities by search of decisions. It is necessary for you of more space, it is necessary
Wider prospect.
     Remaining in very weakened condition, sit down more conveniently and allow
To thoughts to concentrate on a problem with your son or the daughter. Present
Itself with it or from it in this disturbing and giving to your trouble
Situations. When you will accurately represent all it, think of both of you
And simultaneously about the house in which you live, about those who else lives with you.
     And now switch on in this picture of your nearest neighbours. Think about
That slice of the earth and about those houses which are in the neighbourhood, about all
People who live in them that now in your representation there were you,
Your teenager and all people living nearby from you. When this picture
Becomes enough accurate, take the following step and think of all area,
In which you live, – about you, your child both all those hundreds and thousand
Parents and children, and also other people living, working,
Co-operating on all this big space of the earth. Expanding
The created representation, think of all country, millions people and families,
Millions square kilometres of the earth, about its numerous cities and
Huge open spaces. Continuing this thought, present now all our Earth with
Its continents and oceans and all people living on it. Moving ahead still
Further, think of all our Solar system – huge flaring
The sun and all weight of planets, their companions and a space dust, slowly
Rotating round the Sun. Imagine now a galaxy as a whole – all
Assemblage of the solar systems scattered from each other on such distances,
That without amazement it is impossible even to think of them. And, at last, try
To imagine all Universe – millions galaxies in all directions, –
The end and which limit any person could not imagine still to itself. Now,
Continuing to keep in mind sensation of all this immensity of life, come back
Back, again to think of your difficulties with the son or the daughter, and
Define a place corresponding to it and value in this scheme of a universe.
Understand that, certainly, your problem is quite real and perceived; but in that
Time in all this formidability and immensity of life you quite can
To assume that it will somehow be resolved itself, without dependence that
You will do thus. And its any decision will not lead any
To real long damage for all our world.

The fourth exercise

     Present that you spend the summer holiday in Italy and is carefree
Examine ruins ancient Pompey. Day silent and solar. Looking back
On the parties, you everywhere see certificates of an everyday life last –
Streets, numbers of houses, court yard, kitchens, stone vessels for wine. Hundreds years to that
Back people worked, communicated, established families – all it was here, on
This place shined now with warm beams of the sun. Present
Now that in this quiet place you have seen a stone column, on which head
Families of this ancient city wrote down events of the everyday life, and
Have read on it the following inscription: "Today I have been full of horror and anger,
Because my son has been detained by Pompey police ". Or:" today I have understood,
That my daughter uses hashish ".
     Pay attention to that, it is a lot of or not enough adrenaline has arrived in yours
Blood at thought on this so ancient parental problem. You will feel,
Probably, some sympathy and even liking, but practically will not test
Any real uneasiness or concern.
     Then present itself this person, imagine that a problem,
Traced on a stone column, – your problem with your child also that with
That time as all it happens, has passed almost 2000. Thus
Pay attention to what sensations are called you by this problem.
     And now in this pleasant and weakened condition continue reading –
To consider together with us a number of the important facts.
     The overwhelming majority of children making that we have listed in
The beginning of the head, became in due course quite normal people; in other words,
Having matured, they could take care of themselves, have appeared independent
Also comfortable enough relations could maintain with associates, switching on
And the parents.
     In the majority of the families passing through the period has grown up-tnichestva the son or
Daughters, at parents and children exist difficulties. The majority of teenagers,
Including what made all that we have listed above, subsequently
– Usually somewhere in between eighteen and twenty five years – have worried
Some kind of psychological revolution and steels with the parents
True friends.
     You are not lonely. Literally now thousand parents pass through the same
Most, as you; and even more parents all have tested it in the past.
     Most likely, you will not put any damage to the child even in that
Case if think of itself with a sense of guilt as about "the bad parent". In
Children, as well as in people in general, huge force which induces them is concluded
To live, and this force defines (in much bigger degree, than all that,
That you will make or will not make) with what they become. Abundantly clear
Considerable distinctions in those conditions in which children successfully grow and
Become adults: in American Indian countries of Central America, where them
Isolate throughout the very first years of a life in dark cabins; in a needle
Eskimos; in primitive tribes where they are brought up mainly by others
Children and old men and where they very seldom see parents.
     If you feel that have appeared in a trap: you are offended, and your child
Orders about you almost for certain it is possible to tell: forces at you more than you
Believe, including forces so to change surrounding, to feel
It is much better than itself. Such behaviour which is not causing harm to the child, will be,
Most likely, in the blessing and to it (or to it), and to you.
     And here, at last, last pleasant reason which you should
To take into consideration:
     You possess the same aspiration, the same requirement, same
The right fortunately, freedom, attention, respect, love etc., as well as yours
The child.
     Let’s consider: now you feel readiness to start to work with that
Concrete problem which exists in your relations with the child.
First of all let’s try understand: in what your purpose, to what consists
You aspire, that wish to achieve from the son or the daughter? If you can
To clear for itself and to keep in mind that actually want, communicating
With it or from it at you will be more confidence that you move ahead to
The given purpose, instead of simply bury all more deeply and more deeply in that initial
Stressful situation which at all is not pleasant to you. In what you consists
The purpose?
     In similar cases parents usually aspire simultaneously to several
To the purposes which besides are as though at different levels. On more
Direct, concrete level they apply all forces to change
A certain behaviour of the child which, actually, also disturbs them.
     He cannot continue to study in larceny!
     It should go in school!
     I want, that it came in time!
     I want, that it has stopped to swear!
     When parents ask to explain, why they wish to achieve these
Changes, they usually specify in more remote purposes concerning already to
To a little more generalised level. For example:
     I want, that it has stopped to steal, because: I want, that it was
The fair person. I want, that it has not got to a trouble.
     It should go in school, because: I want, that it has finished average
School. I want, that it could get good job.
     It should come in time, because: I want, that from it not
Happens anything bad.
     Then, when you ask parents to what they aspires in the final
The bill that is the purpose of education of children in long-term prospect,
They, as a rule, name a little very much overall aims.
     I want, that it became the good person.
     I want, that it was happy.
     I want, that it in a life had good mutual relations with others
People.
     If we generalise at the highest level all to what, in opinion
Parents, the majority of them we will receive the following purpose aspires,
Including almost all private purposes:
     I want, that my child became the decent, responsible person,
Capable to make concerning itself correct decisions.
     Now we will note one interesting feature of process of achievement of the purposes
In interpersonal situations. We have found out: this process will be carried out
In the best way also will give you the greatest chances for achievement of your purposes on
All levels if you forget for a while about the purposes of lower levels and
Will direct all energy on achievement of the highest purpose. Actually
You cannot reach many purposes of lower levels if will be
To aspire directly and directly to them, and all attempts to make it are faster
Will worsen, rather than will improve your situation. The attempts undertaken for this purpose,
That your child has stopped to steal or has started to go in school, can only
To lead to increase in cases of larceny and , especially if (namely
So more often also happens), making all it, the child "is awarded" by attention
Adults. However the same purposes of lower levels frequently as though
Rise on the place when you aspire to more high aim. On this
To the reason we ask you to remove for some time aside trouble
Concerning an event in relations with the child of crisis, the concrete school
Problem or problem with larceny or undesirable friends. Dealing with a question
How to lead in mutual relations with the child, refuse from
Desires to push, direct it or it to that you want in the given
Concrete case. Instead wonder: "That I can make in this
Situations to help my child to be more responsible and capable
To make own decisions?"

The preface

     If you have a feeling of concern or trouble in the relation
The child-teenager we are glad to meet you and to offer you
This book as means which will facilitate your burden.
     Do not feel lonely: thousand parents worry in many respects
Similar problems, and it is rather probable that some of them – your neighbours and
Friends – absolutely nearby. You can and not guess that be in
Such big company: in our society the parent needs to test
Sense of shame when the son or the daughter pass employment at school, or
Get drunk, or somehow differently badly behave; therefore even friends not
Are inclined to speak about offences of children and the experiences connected with them.
Showing you the arrangement, they still can ask at a meeting: "Well and
How children? "- however your answer is reduced, as a rule, to, that
To tell about socially-comprehensible in behaviour of children, and at all about
Disobedience, skirmishes, night returnings home, admissions of employment. For
The parent to suppose, that the negative facts became known, weight equally that
To receive a negative estimation. All whom you know, test the hardware most
The fears, therefore everyone prefers to be silent, enduring alone feelings
Loneliness and despair.
     We, the Bean and Dzhin Bajjard, have passed through all these are and consequently at us special
Interest to those situations in which parents feel as in a siege. For
Us it is the extremely important, what of two ways you leave them. Almost for certain you
Consider that the problem consists in behaviour of your child, and its decision
– In somehow to change the child, to force it to behave
Otherwise; however so for certain it will be easier to you to consult with facing
You a problem if to look at it as on possibility to change something in
Your own life to expand its borders, to learn to care better about
Her. In this book we will tell how to go the second way to the blessing to you and yours
To the child.
     We not always felt so confidently as now, did not know, how
To cope with conflict situations. We have grown up five children and for it
Time have made practically all (both reasonable, and silly), about what
We tell in a book. About the same that our children, let sometime did
They will tell. Respecting their right to private life, we will describe
Only that have lived and have tested, facing, like parents,
Which we advised, with the broadest palette of children’s behaviour, on
Extent of many years decking experiences our lives.
     When we have grown up almost to majority of two first children,
It seemed to us that at us still remains a lot of not dissipated
Ottsovsko-parent feelings. (And can be, we would like to prove also that
We can be good parents and, hence, standing people?) with
Feeling of pleasure and sensation of new horizons we have accepted in family three more
Children from Korea; to one of them was eleven, and two another – on five
Years. By the time of when all five have grown and became ready to the independent
Lives, we already had a continuous thirty-year practice of education of children.
     Throughout all this time our parental experience developed from
Launches and falling. There were periods when children "behaved fine", and then
We also felt fine. During other time they made that, about
Than it is told in this book and then we were rather unfortunate:
Offended, annoyed, ensnared. Each case such
Called in us deep and very unpleasant experiences.
     For the Bean they meant about the following:
     In me something not so.
     I cannot establish kind and close relations with the children.
     They do not see in me the person.
     For Gin it were a sense of guilt and fear:
     Should be, I the bad person.
     I should devote all life to children. And instead I work in
To school or I earn additionally somewhere else.
     Thereby I deprive children, therefore they and behave not how it is necessary.
     Long time we were ashamed of all these experiences and suffered one by one.
Much the understanding later has come: all is only erroneous stereotypes of thinking,
Though and enslaved, on our belief, many parents, but nevertheless
Quite giving in to alteration.
     To help itself to overcome those difficulties which it was necessary
To test at education of children, we have tried everything that could find and in what
Saw though any hope.
     We read books about education of children. Some of them were very much
The good. However in the majority of books were not mentioned at all  us
Fault experiences, there it was said only that parents should do for the sake of
The children, and all of us were more convinced that our lives in itself absolutely
Mean nothing.
     We for years drove children on expensive psychotherapeutic sessions.
Probably, it in something helped, but the result main and obvious to us
Consisted in the following: our children gradually started to believe that they –
"Patients", with them something not and each time when they are gathered
Something to reach in the life, the help is necessary for them. We so
Were ashamed of the references behind the help to advisers that never
Told about it to the relatives and friends.
     We have passed the special curriculum founded on a book of Dr. Thomas
Gordon "Training of efficiency of the parent". Here for the first time we have felt
The real help. This course has begun our formation as
Members of own family equal in rights also has allowed to see in children interesting,
Reasonable and responsible people. We studied psychology of home life and
The psychotherapy at university, was received by scientific degrees on psychology.
     We have started to work as professional advisers for families
(Teenagers and their parents), appeared in crisis situations. To the present
Time we already dealt with many hundreds offended, revolting,
The angered, suppressed or obstinate teenagers and with their many hundreds
Usually despaired parents. Much from this with what it was necessary
To face, was the acquaintance by own personal experience, and we felt,
That we can understand problems and experiences of our clients.
     During job with crisis situations in families we have noticed, what exactly
Parents started to test concern when family affairs worsened.
Extremely seldom to us teenagers addressed for the help. Usually they did
It, for example, to get rid of a drug addiction or
To alcohol, but very much and very much the few addressed for the help, that
To be released from the bad company, habits to lie, steal, pass employment
At school to run from the house etc. When children made similar offences,
Parents tested despair and called to the aid.
     That is why we address this book to parents.
     We reflected, worked, suffered and as could, coped
Difficulties while brought up the five children. We have passed through all
The culminations of despondency and hopes, hostility and triumph, feebleness and
Celebrations. All our problems and the experiences connected with them especially
Amplified, reached apogee when each our child became literally
The teenager. Then also it seemed – • it is impossible so to live further.
     But one fine day – and one of those hopes consists in it,
Which we would like to arouse in heart of each parent, – our struggle
Started to weaken. We noticed (at first only off and on) that to us
Actually it became easier to communicate and live with children. In our relations
Comic notes got; told or made children sometimes
Amazed us with the humanity and  such pathos that we
Started to understand them and could not hide a smile even if worried and
Disapprovingly swung a head. Pleasant minutes which pleasantly surprised
Us, began to happen in increasing frequency; children differently, but each time
Intelligently let know that like us; each of them made something kind
And worthy, than parents usually are proud. And we at last have felt
Itself in the full consent with the children.
     At first we believed: all it occurs because children definitively
Have matured. They have, of course, changed; but only subsequently we have understood that
Others became not only they, but also ourselves. Our children always were and
Obedient both obsequious, and kind both intolerable, and careful and
The selfish. Having matured, they, of course, have in many respects changed, but on a measure
We have gradually ceased to wait for perfection of our relation to them or
To want something from children (to that they, by the way, anyhow promoted).
Children acted thus as our patient teachers, doing all, that
To relieve, release us from these expectations and to give the chance to us to rejoice
It such what they are. We are obliged by much to this our joint
To development without which so also have lived all life with the in something, can
To be, convenient, but at the same time very inert parental biases.
Children have helped us to open new horizons and to enter into wider world.
     The main thing that this book can make, in our opinion, – to induce you
As the parent to see and in a concrete problem, and in your mutual relations with
The child as a whole it is not so much proof of any defects or errors
The child, how many the influence inducing you to development and change and
Simultaneously giving to you possibility for this purpose. Despite the sincere
Pain, you can even welcome this problem as one of those calls,
Which are thrown to you at all by your child, but your own life.
     Without applying, of course, that we have exhaustive "answers",
How to resolve each concrete situation, we, however, have the big
Practical experience and repeatedly had possibility to observe a condition
Happiness and responsibility as parents, and children. Being based on it
Experience, we can tell to you that, most likely, would try to make, if
Would appear on your place. We are convinced that the approach offered by us
(If, of course, you follow it) can lead essential and
To positive change in your mutual relations with the child.
     From time to time, possibly, it will be difficult, even is intolerable.
     He will demand entering of some changes into an image of your thinking.
     It can have and encouraging effect to bring to you sensation of advancement
And clearings.
     We suggest you to begin with spending pair of evenings behind reading
This book. Try to read in quiet conditions it from a crust to
Crusts – both the basic text, and exercises, and examples – so that
To feel its general spirit which will give to your to hope and sensation
That all will be good. Then come back to the beginning of a book and study
Its maintenance step by step. We advise to work over a book consistently,
As to do about what it is told in the end of the grant, follows, only
Preliminary having mastered and having worked its early sections that will allow to create
Some reserve or the base.
     And at last, please also are indulgent to itself. You quite can
To count on our understanding if will not manage to make something from this,
That we will advise to you in a book because also much was not possible to us in
Time of those crises which happened at us with children. If it was necessary
To pass through all it again and we would know that we know now, we, without
Doubts, would follow to the recommendations. However we had to study on
Private experience – and this uneasy doctrine. During it it has been supposed
It is a lot of errors. We tried to forgive to ourselves these flaws. We hope, as you
Excuse itself everything that cannot make; and that will be possible to you, let
Will give to you to confidence. We would like, that after acquaintance to this book
You became at least a little more by itself, have appeared more capable to
To creativity and changes, rather than earlier.